Backyard Wedding in Oakland during COVID | Suzanne & Ray

location: private home | Oakland, CA
florals: made by family | Suzanne: Tadashi Shoji, Birkenstock & Marisa Mason | Ray: Anatoly & Sons & Hugo Boss | rings: Aide Memoire & Blue Blue Driver

I asked Suzanne & Ray to share a bit about their experience re-imagining their wedding in the wake of the pandemic. They moved their food truck-fueled dance party to 2021, and planned a tiny, intimate backyard wedding with their “quarantine bubble” on their original date. Read on for their thoughtful approach to changing their plans.

Our biggest concern was the health and safety of our loved ones. We decided to postpone our June 2020 gathering (with about 150 guests) pretty soon after shelter-in-place went into effect in March. It was a difficult decision at the time, but once we made the choice it was liberating! Our guests were incredibly understanding (and openly relieved) which was validating.

Even though the day was nothing like we originally planned, it was still so love-filled and joyful, and there was something sort of magical about having such an intimate time as a family. 

Since we got legally married over Zoom with the Alameda County Clerk, we decided to marry ourselves in the backyard ceremony! It was SO fun - we highly recommend. Our guests loved it. We wanted to create a really intimate and tearful ceremony that incorporated Ray's mom and Suzanne's parents (Ray's mom phoned in from another state to read something she’d written) and showcased our relationship. Officiating the ceremony ourselves was a really fun way to create something for us, by us, and came from us having to get creative in re-planning the ceremony. We wouldn’t have thought to do it otherwise!

We also live-streamed the ceremony for all of our guests using YouTube. We wanted to be as inclusive as possible even though our friends and family couldn’t be there physically. We wanted our guests to be able to witness this moment and to be part of something with us - until we can all safely gather and party. We’ve heard from so many guests that it was really incredible to be able to be “there” with us, and that the emotions and sentiments from the ceremony translated even through a screen.  And YouTube automatically records a livestream, so now we have a (free) recording of the whole thing.

We encourage everyone to still celebrate something on your original date - whether that’s a small ceremony, a Zoom party, or just a low-key dinner at home with the two of you.